


First Christmas

by ChloeGreen1998



Series: Christmas 2020 [11]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Cuddling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family Death, I'm Sorry I Guess, M/M, Minor Character Death, Some Fluff, but i needed some kind of angst, but iwaizumi is the most supportive, iwaizumi loves oikawa so much, oikawa also loves iwaizumi so much, oikawa is sad i'm sorry, you wouldn't think oikawa is my fave bc i'm so mean to him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-11
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:27:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27976575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChloeGreen1998/pseuds/ChloeGreen1998
Summary: Going through loss is never, ever an easy thing to cope with. Oikawa also isn't one to handle change so when he gets the news that someone in his family has passed he shuts himself down for a couple days and iwaizumi will do anything to make him smile again.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Series: Christmas 2020 [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2024683
Comments: 3
Kudos: 55





	First Christmas

**Author's Note:**

> This is a sad one I'm so sorry but I also had an idea for Kunimi/Kindaichi where I killed one of them off and thought this would be the better one because all of the characters we love are alive but Oikawa is sad so I'm sorry about that. But anyway, yes it's sad and deals with the death of a family member so if that's something that will trigger you, please skip this one <333
> 
> Also, happy day 11! I hope you're all enjoying December!

Oikawa had never been somebody that handled change well. It was something that he always knew had to happen, changes in life. Some of them great like when he spent time over in Argentina and won an Olympic gold medal, that was a good change, finally admitting his feelings and asking Iwaizumi out had been a good change along with every single milestone they'd hit together like moving in together but some changes were bad. And, the news that his mother had passed, especially two weeks before Christmas, had shaken him of course and the whole world had seemed to have tilted on its side. It had been a week since it had happened and he'd hardly moved, only getting himself out of bed to go to the funeral or when he needed to go to the toilet, he'd hardly eaten anything, he'd hardly slept and he hadn't showered, to say Iwaizumi was beginning to get really concerned would be a massive understatement.

Their shared bedroom was dark, just as it had been for the last week when Iwaizumi got home from work. He'd wanted to be off and sit with Oikawa through this entire thing but there was a limit to how much time he was allowed off and he had reached it. Sighing to himself, he grabbed a spoon from their kitchen and headed into their room with the soup he'd bought on his way home from work for Oikawa, just to try and get him to eat something.

"Tooru, are you awake?" Iwaizumi knew that he was, he'd seen him maybe sleep two hours each night since they'd gotten the phone call but sometimes Oikawa pretended to be asleep so he wouldn't be disturbed which hurt Iwaizumi more than he was willing to admit. All he wanted was to be able to help Oikawa and he couldn't do that if Oikawa kept shutting himself away but he also knew that he needed to let him do what he needed to do. This time, however, Oikawa made a small noise before lifting his head up to look at Iwaizumi.

"There you are," Iwaizumi whispered, reaching forward to rest his hand on Oikawa's cheek. He felt his heart break in his chest every time he looked at Tooru, the deep circles under his eyes told him how much he hadn't slept, they were also constantly a little red showing that he barely went a few hours without shedding some tears. All Hajime wanted was to take all of that pain away and knowing he couldn't was the most painful feeling to him. "How are you doing?"

"Don't know," Oikawa mumbled, looking down at his hands.

Iwaizumi had seen Oikawa almost every single day since they were very young, he'd been with him through many things in his life, had seen him cry, had seen him scream and be angry, had seen him sick and injured but, this is an Oikawa that Iwaizumi had never seen before and never wanted to see again. Even when Oikawa had fucked his knee, he wasn't in this kind of state and Iwaizumi thought how he was then had broken his heart but this was a whole new level. He just wished he knew how to help him, how to reach him and reassure him that things were going to be okay eventually, he just wanted to take all of his pain away or at least hold him until he felt okayish again. Iwaizumi knew that Oikawa was never going to be 1000% again. His mum was the one person in his family that had always supported him in everything that he did and loved him like he deserved.

"That's okay," Iwaizumi replied, brushing his thumb along Oikawa's cheek bone. "Do you feel up to eating anything? I bought that soup that you like so much. It'll be easy for your stomach since you haven't really eaten much recently."

"Okay" Iwaizumi almost sighed with relief at Oikawa finally agreeing to actually eat something, most of the time it had been Iwaizumi basically forcing food into his system and then Oikawa throwing it back up but he hoped and prayed that this was different, that this was the start of Oikawa starting to come to terms with what had happened and that his stomach could handle something small.

Hajime helped Oikawa sit up and then fed him the soup that he'd bought. The whole affair was quiet but it looked like at least some colour returned to Tooru's skin and that he did have a little bit more strength than he'd had previously. "Tell me what I can do to help Tooru, anything, please."

"Don't leave me," he whispered it so quietly that Iwaizumi almost didn't hear him but his heart shattered there and then. The look on Oikawa's face as he said it made him want to just cry. Instead of answering, he wasn't sure that he could without bursting into tears, he just wrapped his arms around his boyfriend and held him close to his chest, squeezing him as tightly as he could. "Never leave me."

"I will never, ever leave you Tooru, never." He whispered his reassurances softly, pressing soft kisses to the crown of Oikawa's head. "I'll never leave you."

The two of them sat like that for a while, Oikawa just leaning into Iwaizumi like he was the only strength holding him up and Iwaizumi holding Oikawa like if he let go, his boyfriend would just disappear in front of his eyes. Iwaizumi whispered reassurances to Oikawa every time he heard the small sniffles of him beginning to cry again and he let him cry it out, if he needed to cry again, Iwaizumi was going to let him because he was going to let Oikawa do everything he needed to do to help himself through this horrific thing he was now left to deal with.

It was silent for a while longer, the two of them just sat there until Oikawa finally spoke up again, the most words he'd said to Iwaizumi since it had happened. "Do you think she was proud of me? Did I make her proud Iwa-chan?"

"Of course you made her proud Tooru, she was the proudest parent there is. When you won that gold, she screamed louder than me. Guaranteed I was meant to be cheering for Japan because you know, trainer and all that, but I still shouted for you but she was there, just behind me screaming even louder. She used to tell me that I had to look after you because you pushed yourself too hard but she was always proud of everything you managed to achieve and everything you did for everyone around you. She was always proud of you Tooru, please never doubt that."

"I miss her," he whispered into Iwaizumi's shoulder, "I don't know what to do."

"I know Tooru, I know you miss her and I'm so sorry. I'm sorry that I can't do anything to take this pain away from you right now but I promise that it will start to get better. The pain will never fully go away, there will always be apart of you that will miss her but it will get better, I know that it doesn't feel like that right now and that it hurts a lot right now but it'll start to hurt less, I promise you and I'll be here, I promise," Iwaizumi assured him, rubbing soft circles across his shoulders. "And, you do what you think you need to do and then, then you begin to move on. You will continue to make her proud in every single thing that you do, you'll start to play for her and imagine that she's there with you all the time but right now, you look after yourself. She'd be yelling at you if she knew you weren't eating like she always did," Oikawa let out a watery chuckle at that and nodded gently. "But don't push yourself too hard, don't push yourself at all right now. It's small steps, one step at a time, one day, one hour, one minute at a time until you feel like you can do things again and until then, you try and sleep and eat and keep yourself healthy and let me in, please, let me help you Tooru, I love you so much." They were both shedding tears by the end of Iwaizumi's little speech but Oikawa was nodding at him before he let Iwaizumi wrap him up in another hug.

"I love you Hajime."

"I love you too Tooru, I love you more than I have ever loved anybody and I will do anything to help you. Starting with, making you get some sleep. Is there anything I can do to help you sleep?"

"Hold me?"

"Of course, come on," Iwaizumi managed to move the both of them so that Iwaizumi was laying down on his back and Oikawa was resting his head on his chest. Their legs were wrapped around each other's and Iwaizumi was running his hands through Oikawa's hair. "I love you, I love you, I love you so much Tooru. I know it doesn't feel like it now but everything is going to be okay."

"Thank you Iwa-chan," Oikawa snuggled further into Iwaizumi and before they both knew it, he was asleep. Iwaizumi sighed to himself, running his fingers through Oikawa's hair. He looked so vulnerable like this, Iwaizumi thought and he would do anything to protect him.

**Author's Note:**

> So uhm hello! This one was pretty sad I'm sorry!!!! I promise the next time we see them which will be in a week on the 18th, it'll be under much happier circumstances! Honestly, Oikawa is my favourite character but you wouldn't think so with how mean I am to him constantly lmao. 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoyed today's fic! Coming up we have a soft BokuAka coming home story, a soft Christmas aquarium ShiraSemi and then a surprise I'm home SakuAtsu fic all of which I'm pretty excited about and I promise there's a lot of fluff in each of them!! Thank you so much for reading and I'll see y'all tomorrow for Day 12 !!!


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